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Submitted on
October 22, 2012
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6 (who?)
I had a dream recently that made me decide to share a story.

I came out to my parents when I was 12 years old.

Bad idea.

Nobody takes you seriously when you're 12.  My mom said that me liking girls was just a "phase" & that I would grow out of it eventually.

I thought that was the most disrespectful thing in the world.

You're telling me that my feelings towards another gender is just a phase??

First of all, I believe that I was born this way. Looking back at experiences in my childhood, there were early signs that showed that I've always liked girls. 

Being bisexual is not a trend.

Being gay is not a trend.

Being yourself is NOT. A . TREND.

But to be honest, it was like that for a lot of girls in my school.

As soon as me & Sarah said "Hey, we're lesbian & bisexual!" ALL of our friends decided to like girls too.

Looking back at it now, I think it was disgusting.

Don't try to be someone your not just to please us or to fit in.

As time when on, most of those girls went back to just liking boys. Back then I was shocked & disappointed & confused. Now, not so much.

What I didn't get was how they could change their feelings so fast. I didn't realize that they were just putting on a show.

My friends started telling me they liked me & it was weird & overwhelming. They knew I had a girlfriend, & they knew her very well so why would they tell me something like that? I'm not gonna break up with her to go out with you if that's what your thinking.

A couple months ago I was reading some journal entries she had made about me on some website back in 2006-2007. She referred to me as her "boyfriend". I suppose she could get away with it, since my name is a boys name. I'm not too bothered by it.

She's always been the type of person to want to hide our relationship.

When ppl would ask me "Hey, are you dating Kaeli?" Sometimes Id say yes, other times Id say no.

I hated it.

I wanted to be open.

But she wanted to keep us a secret.

But who could blame her. She was a victim of bullying because of her being bisexual. Because word got out that she was dating a girl.

Because she was being herself.

The point of all this is to let you guys know to never be ashamed of who you are, & never let anyone tell you that being who you are is wrong.

Because its very right.
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Lady-Tsuru Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
:clap: Very well said! I'm glad to hear you're not confused anymore. A lot of teens are (hell, I was), and they tend to flip-flop a lot on their sexualities. It's unfortunate, because that means that nobody takes you seriously. It was the same way with me. When I came out to my mom at 16, she took me seriously because she knew I wasn't the type of person to be persuaded by other people (and because as a homeschooler for most of my life, peer pressure just wasn't a thing for me). Still, just after I came out, my younger sister decided that she was gay, too, and started "dating" a girl at her school which set off a chain reaction that made lesbienism the hot new trend in the middle school. Of course now, it's guys-only because she grew out of it. But there IS a difference between someone who is really sure of themselves and someone who changes orientation just because it's the trendy thing to do. I wish that everyone could see the difference, but unfortunately a lot of people don't. I hope that your parents can come to see that you are your own person and not just some kid trying to be rebellious.

You know, one reason that teenagers act so shallow and immature is because they're not taken seriously. Did you know that the phenomenon of tennage rebelliousness is almost exclusive to industrial and post-industrial societies like the U.S. and Britain? In other cultures, teens are just young adults so they aren't confused about their place in society.

Bravo for saying all this! I have a feeling that you'll meet people who need advice about coming out, and you'll be just the person to help them. You're obviously a stronger person because of your experiences, so maybe you'll be able to lend your strength to others sometime. Also, now that you're out of high school, I think you'll find people a lot less shallow. Pressure to be popular? Bullying? None of that matters now. College and the real world are WHOLE new ballgames.
DaisyPhantom Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012

OMG I don't understand how ppl think being gay is a trend. Like I don't understand it. It's not the newest pair of shoes or the latest video game lol.

& omg I didn't know that fact about teenage rebelliousness. I wonder why it's just us. Hmm.

Also I didn't know that you were homeschooled! (Or maybe I did & I just forgot. Lol)

& yeah but Im not to excited about the real world *sniff* College I think I can handle xDD
Lady-Tsuru Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2012
I know! They don't get that they're just making it look bad. Most sensible people realize that sexual orientation is something that is encoded in your very genes and has little to do with even early-childhood experiences (after all, I didn't even know what a lesbien was until I was around 12, and even then I never had any interest in boys). So when someone says that they're gay or bi just to fit in or be trendy, they're actually perpetuating the myth that sexual orientation is a choice. Worse, they can give the idea that it's contageous because they'll often start saying things like that after a friend or family member comes out, making silly people think that they "caught" it from their friends or something. Sounds stupid, but you'd be surprised how many people still think it's something that you can catch!

As for the rebellion, I think it's because teenagers in our society are in an awkward in-between stage. They're not kids anymore, because their hormones are telling them that it's time to grow up. At the same time, they're not adults because their brains aren't fully developed yet. In most cultures, teens begin working alongside adults as soon as they reach a certain milestone (like a rite of passage). In fact, "teenager" isn't even a term in many languages. Some languages don't even have a word for "adolescent" or "juvenile". You're either a child or an adult, just in different stages of development. Like, younger adults are given different responsibilities and privelages than older adults. In our society, the "teen" stage has become an expectation. We now expect teens to act the way they do because we've pushed them into that role. It's good in that it gives teens time to develop before pushing them out into the world, but it's bad because people often don't take teens seriously. You mention your age, and suddenly nobody thinks that what you have to say is valid because you're "just a kid."

Er... sorry about ranting like that! Again, I love anthropology... ^^; I like to know why things are the way they are. That's my mom's fault; being my teacher for most of my life, she encouraged me to always question everything. Of course she later came to regret it, since now I question things that she does (and win a lot of arguments, too)! She often says that she taught me TOO well.

Yeah, you should like college. I loved it! The real world isn't easy to cope with, but at least the people in it are easier to deal with than they were in high school. Plus, now that you're at the college stage, people will take you more seriously. It's sad that you had to wait so long for that to happen, but I'm glad to see that you're more confident in yourself! And now that we're technically in the "young adult" stage, we can make sure that we take younger people more seriously than we were by our parents and older peers. Maybe our generation can change things?
Midori250 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Student Digital Artist
I was confused for a long time(like for about...5-6 years) what i was. me and my best friend had a relationship, although it ended up being very on and off. In the end, we learned she was gay and i wasn't, but it was still tough. In that time of deciding what i was my mom could tell things were happening between us and was really nasty towards her and me. it was....not.....ugh. and our friends got jealous and mad at how much time i spent with her. i dont know if you would call me a bad guy or what... but i didnt say anything of our relationship openly to really anyone, with they way everyone was acting. thankfully her family are all supportive of her. and i guess so is my family, as long as it isnt with me. : / sigh. i like your journal, its very open.
This november Minnesota is doing a voting thing on marriage, basically voting on the definition of marriage being only between one man and one woman. so obviously VOTE NO NOVEMBER. and my grandparents are super religious. they saw i was for voting NO and my grandpa literally called me up and said "we need to talk face to face so i can change your mind". SERIOUSLY? WTF. NOTHING you can say will change my mind. RUDE.
and even if the vote turns out NO, it still wont allow gays to marry here..... FRICKEN LAME. i want my friends and loved ones to be able to marry here! my best friend ; n ;
DaisyPhantom Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
Well I can understand why you wouldnt want to tell anyone about your relationship with your friend.

& oh wow that is very rude. How dare he try to change someones opinion lol how bout try changing his, I bet he wont like it.
Royal-Butterfly Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
People these days need to learn to be honest with themselves. I agree with you all the way.
I remembered watching some of my friends saying they were bi-sexual because of another friend. I honestly don't mind being around with any people whether they're straight, bisexual, gay or lesbians but you have to be honest and not act like that to get attention.

Aw I'm sorry to hear this Dai-chan. ;n;
People should really stop bullying others because for this. Seriously they need to learn to grow up and accept others. >.<
Wow I also remembered having guy friend who wouldn't admit that he was gay in middle to high school because everyone would bully him. Then the last year of high school, he's now really open about it and didn't care on what people think or say anymore. It really depends on the person though. It's a shame that people are still afraid of being them-self because others.
DaisyPhantom Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
Wow are you serious? Lol I can't believe you had friends like that too omg.

& omg gay bullying is in my opinion one of the worst types of bullying.
Nobody should have to be bullied just because of who they are.
Royal-Butterfly Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Of course. My childhood friend is gay and my current close friend is bisexual. ;u;
I stopped talking to the ones that did it for attention because they were really causing a lot of drama and were very fake to begin with. They even started talking behind their closest friend's back and say to me that they don't gossip. I'm sick of their nonsense now. -__-
Bullying in general is the worst but yes you're right it's bad how people get bullied from being who they are. It tears me apart knowing this. .
DaisyPhantom Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012
Oh I didnt know that!!

Yeah you did the right thing. I would have stopped talking to them too.

& yeah your right all bullying is bad, but it seems to me that the only time I hear of a teenager who commits suicide it's because they were bullied for being gay.
Royal-Butterfly Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Te-he yes, now you do.~ Hooray for finding something new about me~

I know! It's really sad to see the in the news 24/7. I get so pissed off at those people who bullied them ;n;
Sometimes it's also because of their parents or closest friend who doesn't accept them either..
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